We land east o' Maracaibo and quickly organize ourselves inta four groups. Dis is gonna be a text-book assault!
Coggy da Bastid is gonna lead his group to the outskirts 'o town and blew up a keg 'o powder. Thus gettin' hoards 'o curious townsfolk, gentry, and redcoats headed his way ta see what the 'ells goin' on. Cogs men will den take up firing positions 'n pick off the lubbers one by one as they approach.
In the mean time, Henry Morgan and Black Mark will cut through the undergrowth to the northwest and secure the dock while Governor Jon and his men will attack the town from the south.
Dave E Jones will bring his band 'o merry cutthroats up from the rear and prevent any sneaky grenadiers from outflanking us 'n cuttin' off our escape back to the beach.... or so we hoped!
As ye can see, things are going ta plan at first. Coggy and his men approach the outskirts 'o town and sure enough, a bunch 'o yella lubbers eagerly begin ta throw down their weapons and plead fer mercy. And of course, I didn't show any... we gutted the gits on sight!
Over at the docks, Mad Moose peppers the place with grapeshot - clearing the way fer Henry Morgan's group to come and secure the place.
BUT THEN!!! The first seeds of disaster are sewn!!!
Aye, ye guessed it! Dave E Jones gets a whiff 'o rum on the breeze, and before we knows it, the gits left his position 'n headed inta town to the tavern... his men eagerly following in his wake. If ye look close enough, you'll see a couple 'o his boozy bastids carrying kegs. They USED ta be full o powder, but Davey emptied it out 'n told his hapless sods ta fill em up wit the rum from that there tavern.
But we can't blame ol' Davey... cause Gov'nor Jon be partial to a bit 'o tobacco, and instead 'o the git sticking to the plan and attackin the town from the south - the sod decides ta go pilligin the bleedin plantation instead!
*Ahem* While those two swines where disobeying orders, I realizes I needs ta pee! But me four guards soon realized twas just a ruse, and me real intentions where stealing the coconuts off them trees!
And finally, the raid on Maracaibo soon turned inta a complete farce when Henry Morgan decided he wanted ta sample the local whores. We tried ta tell the randy git that that be a friggin' WAREHOUSE, an' not a Whorehouse! But as ye know, Henry aint had much schooling and aint one fer spellin'.
After that, we made a hasty retreat back to the ship... our attack on
Maracaibo a complete failure
Next time ye go inta battle, me advice to ye is ta leave any officers that have uncontrollable vices on yer ship... yer better off sending yer marines in on their own!
After
our defeat in Maracaibo, we heads north ta Jamaica fer some badly needed drinkin’
‘n whorin'.
Once thar, we spot an ol’ mate ‘o ours in Santiago de la Vega. It be
Undead Jack, and he be right eager ta join up wit us!
A few rums later, he signs tha roster and his fine Brig, Finnegan’s Wake,
becomes the latest vessel ta join our growin’ armada.
Tha next day we head to the Lesser Antilles ta recruit us more marines, before
turnin' south ta Trinidad. Rumour has it dat Pike Masters be there ‘n
if’n we can get that scurvy sod ta join us, we’ll be ready ta sail fer the
Ol’Man’s hideaway in Puerto Bello and relieve dat old bugger of all his tax
loot.
A few weeks later we reaches Trinidad. And sure enough, ol’ Pikey be in
the local tavern thar.
Didn’t take long ta persuade the sod ta sign da Artikles. Pikey had one
condition though! And dat was ta launch an immediate attack on Trinidad on
the account dat the friggin’ don governor had impounded his ship fer smuggling
ale.
“I wanna lead the assault meself!” said he.
So, after a quick vote, we gives the go-ahead fer the attack – making sure
Coggy da Bastid and Dave E Jones remain aboard ship! With the defeat at
Maracaibo still fresh in our minds, we didnae want ta take any chances –
especially since Trinidad be famous fer its coconut plantations and fine liquor
breweries.
Greenbeard, Pikey, and Henry Morgan soon disembark the ship wit 50 musketeers at
thar disposal.
This time we was adamant the attack would go exactly according ta plan.
Pikey took the bulk ‘o the men, along with a cannon, and headed straight fer
the stone bridge leading inta town…
Henry Morgan interrogated the prisoner ta find out where the landlubbers in town
hid thar jewels.
The swab died ‘o fright before we gots ta know… so ol’ Enry marched his
men north in search ‘o more virmin ta interrogate.
On the towns’ outskirts, tha cannon made short work ‘o these bleedin’
grenadiers, and ol’ Pikey wasted little time in getting his men across the
bridge.
Meanwhile, Greenbeard and his band ‘o men brought up the rear, to give Pikey
some added support should the folks in Trinidad cause us some grief.
Henry Morgan continued north, and on spottin’ a bunch ‘o filthy farmers in
the sugar plantation, the git soon began rounding ‘em up.
Back in town, Pikey headed fer the prison and Greenbeard made haste to the
treasury and quickly began lootin the joint.
Meanwhile, at the prison, Pikey orders his scurvy buggers ta bust his ol’ mate
out, Billy Gannet.
“Blew da bugger up lads, and let loose the Brethren!” called he.
As luck would have it, the explosion at the Prison caused the last group ‘o
gentry folk ta leave their positions guarding the Governors mansion, and come
take a look at all the commotion.
The sod’s killed a couple ‘o men outside the tavern, but on seeing Pikey
‘n his group ‘o murderous bastids close by, the yella lubbers soon hoisted
thar arms aloft and begged fer quarter.
“Take ‘em prisoner!” called Pikey. “We’ll let Coggy at
‘em when we get back to the ship!” he laughed.
By now, Greenbeard and his group ‘o thieving buggers had emptied tha treasury
‘o almost 5000 pesos. The gits where laden wit gold coins. “Lets
get back to tha ship ‘n divvy up dis lot!”
“Aye friggin’ Aye Sir!”
Henry Morgan had finished rounding up the farm hands dat worked in the sugar
plantation. But the lazy bugger couldnae be bothered ta escort em back to
the beach, so he gutted the menfolk, an’ whored tha wenches…. Good ol’
‘Enry!
Meanwhile, after sending a few o’ his men to escort the prisoners back to the
beach, Pikey gathers what’s left of his swabs ‘n leads ‘em up to the
Governors mansion – not realising thars a handful ‘o grenadiers lurking near
the barracks!
Sensing the imminent danger, Pikey rushes at the gits wit sword raised. He
kills two ‘o the bastids before his motley band can reach him…
But it’s too late! A friggin’ redcoat shoots poor ol’ Pike in the
back as another drops a bomb in close proximity…
Pike Masters hits the dirt and lies motionless no less than a hundred paces from
the friggin’ gov’nors place
His men cannae believes thar eyes. Just standing there as thar officer lay
dead
“Lets git em!” screams one irate soul… and with that, the remaining
cutthroats stormed the last few soldiers – in thar fury, hackin ta death the
hapless gits even though they offered ta surrender.
“We’ve captured the Governors mansion!” came the call from the victories
swines… and without further a do, the lads burned the place to the ground fer
poor ol’ Pikeys sake.
We pillaged Trinidad and wiped out the entire town that night. After
torturing and hanging the Spanish ponce ‘o a Governor, we buried Pike Masters
on a nice hill over-lookin the burning port. With him, we placed a bottle
'o Jamaica's finest and a portion 'o plunder he never got ta see
Vowing to avenge Pikeys demise until every last one ‘o us where in the locker
with him, we set sail fer Cartagena at sunrise and headed west...
We needs ta replace ol’ Pikey and word as it that Lord MacAlpin be hold up in
that thar town someplace. If’n we can get that scurvy bugger and his men
ta join us, we’ll be settin’ sail fer Puerto Bello – and the Ol’Man! 